I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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