Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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