my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
