btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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