No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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