i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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