I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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