she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
