Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
