I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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