just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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