One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
