Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
