come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
