Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
