just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
