Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
