Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
