I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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