McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
