Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
