What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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