so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
