thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
