yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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