dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
