woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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