i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
