I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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