I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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