Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
