He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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