Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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