Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
