Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
