Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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