i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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