Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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