i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
