wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
