dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize