nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
