normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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