Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
