So drunk its hurt
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
