Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize