Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
