I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
