If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
