Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
