I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
