Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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