I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
