White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
