the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
