Christians are straight up FREAKS
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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