Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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