yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
