The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
