Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
