Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How does one acquire holy water?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
