I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
