So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
