I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize