ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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